3 years & Counting

I don't expect anyone to read this I think it is more for myself. But thank you if you do and give me some advice if you have some to spare!

It has been 3 years since I came home from Ecuador and started life out again as a student, an employee, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and now a wife. I got married last year and I am now turning 24 this next February. My life since serving a mission has been so interesting and so not what I expected. As I read through some of these posts I miss Hermana Dunkley so badly and recognize that I need to find her within myself once again. I am so happy and grateful for where I am now. I have an amazing husband who was a missionary and a friend who supported me through my mission experience. I am about to graduate with my Bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University in Psychology. I have a home and a job that is difficult, but fulfilling. Unfortunately I find myself sitting here writing to you 3 years later because I have lost apart of that devotion to God that I gained as a sister missionary.

I believe in God and I love him so much, my actions do not always show it though. As trials have come I sometimes fall away without meaning too. Now as I face a challenge of doing some dumb assignment that I have put off for too long I can see in myself how I haven't reached to God for his help first like I did everyday in Ecuador.

I mean to write this to the internet to make myself accountable and to push myself to just choose to start figuring out life again. I have changed a lot for the better as well, but I need Hermana Dunkley's faith right now and I choose to push forward once again.

So here it goes...on to my assignment that must be done, and on to the world I sometimes do not want to enter, but I know if I look for a little bit of faith in God I can probably pull myself out of this rut.

Con mucho amor de Provo, Utah,

Hermana Dunkley.... Madison Cicon

For the last time

Well it is weird that it has gotten to this point. I say weird because the mission becomes a part of your life, where you think that everything that has ever been, everything that is, and everything that ever will be surrounds you with a companion, a plaque, and spanish speakers...in other words a mission. I feel so many mixed feelings to be honest, because it is so hard when you get to a point that you have to say goodbye to all those that you love here too. As I spoke with my stake president 18 months ago he told me," now it is hard to say goodbye to your family, but just imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye to your family in Ecuador, when you leave and without any surety that you will see them again." I can tell you that it is hard to say goodbye to people that you aren´t sure you will see again they become to have similar qualities like the members of your own family.
 

For example. Bryan. My convert. As I said goodbye to him I felt love and sadness. He became just like my older brother, in one moment my brother seems like a tough guy who will never cry or anything and then in the next moment my brother cries and I felt the same thing with my brother like I did when Bryan cried... He became just like my older brother and as they thanked me for what I did it became hard to realize that it was all going to end. 

Rosalia a member from my ward in ambato. She is like my two sisters and my mom combined. She has a little bit of every single one of them and as she said goodbye to me it was so hard. 

Alfonso...is like my dad. I say that because Alfonso told me one thing, I will talk to you soon and stay true to God. My dad has always been the steady person for me in my life.

I will miss them all, but I am so grateful that I can now see my family. So as I finish this all off I want to share the millioneth testimony as a missonary.

I know without a doubt that my savior lives, and I am so grateful for him. He has taught me so much and helped me to finally understand his gospel. I know that he truly atoned for me. I think I can finally understand that a lot better, but I still have so much to learn. I know that being a missionary is a great opportunity to serve the Lord and sacrifice a part of your life to more than just yourself it is a sacrifice that changes yourself and that helps so many others. I know that God sent me to Ecuador because I was meant to be here because I truly love every aspect of it all. I am so grateful to Him for what he has helped me to do. I promise to continue forward wherever life takes me. I know the church is true and that the gospel has been restored by modern day prophets today. I know that God will always be there for us even when we fall. Jamas olvidaré todo lo que he aprendido y jamás pararé de hacer como él quiere que haga.

I wish you all blessings and happiness in your lives. Dont forget what is the most important, your relationship with God in this life. I wish you all the best and hope to see you all soon.

For the last time 

Con mucho amor de Ecuador,

Hermana Dunkley

I am still seeing miracles‏

Well hi.....I mean buenas tardes ¿como están con todo? Espero que estén bien. 

I have had the most amazing week. It was so hard and we worked our butts off. 

One of the coolest things is that we recieved a call on Friday from a member to come and visit a family with them that night. It was a really awesome experience. I dont know I feel like God is giving me these last couple of moments as a gift.  Literally we found 4 new investigators in that home that night and they truly needed to listen to our message. Their home was so humble and I felt so filled with the spirit to talk to them about how they can have in eternal family. 

I was able to see another miracle. Our Investigator finally recieved his answer, and he told us that he knew it was true, but that he was going to go to the military and that he can´t be baptized right now, but that when he gets out for vacations in three months that he wants to be baptized.  That was like a shock to me. It hit me so hard, because I wanted to baptize him this week so bad, he was my hope for the end of my mission, but i know God has a plan for everyone and I know he will make this step later on in his life. 

I think sometimes we desire things so that wee look good in front of others or other prideful reasons, but honestly all this work is what God does. Everyone of the people I have had the privelege to help be baptized out here aren't because I taught them well or nothing like that, it is only because Christ used me to get to them. Everyone of them are Christ´s converts and I am grateful I had the privelge to be a missionary. I still have one more week and I think I will just testify to you all next week!!!

and tell you about the cuy that I am going to eat this weekend...pray for me people please. I dont know if i can do it alone. I need to leave Ecuador with my intestine still working.

Love you all!!!

Con mucho amor de Ambato,

Hermana Dunkley

Ambato, Ecuador

Well I was hoping to throw a lot of quotes in herre from conference, but they arent all loaded up yet, so there went my idea. haha. Conference was so amazing I loved it so much and I was so happy. It turned out to be a conference that really helped me out. I loved when they helped me to see what I need to do. I felt it was really cool that lots of them asked us to ask ourselves questions. It has made me ponder a lot in my heart. I loved the stories that they told and all of the advice they gave us. It was a wonderful experience being able to sustain 3 new apostles. I feel like they all gained our love when they shared those beautiful testimonies. I am so exited to keep trying to apply these things in my life. This next Sunday I have to share with my ward in Ambato how the mission has made a difference in my life....the thing is I dont know how to express there isnt one thing that hasnt changed...well to make sure that that makes sense I wanted to say that everything has changed about me in the mission. The amazing thing is that it has been a change so amazing and I can't wait to keep going. 

As the time goes down to coming home I have been thinking a lot about how I want to keep the changes I have made, and conference made it very obvious to me....the goal is exaltation, discpleship is a journey. We as disciples of Christ need to be on the right journey never stop, never weary.  Keep going. As I look back on all this time, thats what I think it has been a journey that never stops. Just the scenery changes sometimes. So as the scenery changes from here to there we must go and do as the Lord commands. I am grateful for all of you. I hope that you all will be okay and keep going on.

Con mucho amor de Ambato,

Hermana Dunkley

Miracles

So one of the many miracles we have been able to see. The baptism of Bryan. It was such a spirtual day and it was so great. He is a super funny kid and he is so awesome. He has had a harder life, but he truly chose to change. It was so amazing when he bore his testimony and said Thank you to everyone for the faith you all have had in me. He said that it was hard to change, but he truly wanted to do it. He thanked us too, and I was astonished, it feels so good to help others to come unto Christ and to see them take these steps. I cant wait to see these upcoming days that we are able to help others to recieve this step of baptism. The miracles just keep on coming. We have to work hard to be able to recieve them. I am so grateful for what Christ has done for me and for the chance I still have to keep on changing. I need these last weeks so that I can still change and become a better person, and so that I can have more amazing experiences as a missionary. There is only one time I can serve a mission this way, and I hope to be able to do it like Christ desires me to do it.

Thank you everyone for everything....We will see you in 3 weeks.

Con mucho amor de Ambato,

Hermana Dunkley

El cambio‏

Well first off sorry, this computer wont let me put any pictures on, but its alright, you will all see my face rather soon. 

What do I want to tell you all? I am struggling to write in english. I have thought over how to speak, it is kind of hard. I am not quite sure if that is written correctly. 

Okay. So let me say it gets harder at the end. I thought it would get easier, but that is a lie. haha. 

The great thing is that thanks to this time I have spent here my convert Alfonso, that I always talk so highly of was able to go to the temple. As soon as he finished a year as a member he did it. I think that is so amazing, because I know that it is only thanks to our Savior that I had the opportunity to knock on his door and help him recieve this gospel. I think of how amazing it feels to help people choose the right and become baptized and then I think of how it is even more amazing it is when someone chooses to take that next step and recieve more blessings from God. He made a huge sacrifice in going there, but he choose to do it because he knew it was right. 

I am so grateful that I can serve a mission. This week an elder asked me if I could sum up my mission in one word what would it be. I thought change.  The most important thing that has happened to me in my mission is the change in my conversion that I have been able to have. I have seen so many other changes as well, in the people of Ecuador, in my family at home, in the way I see the world in general...but the greatest change has been the change in my relationship with God and Jesus Christ. I hope you all can meditate in the relationship you all have with them. It is something so important, because without them we are all just here living and then nothing else will matter, but thanks to Our Father, and Savior, there is life in each and every one of us. I testify this to you all, because the one thing that I can do as a missionary is testify and I most do it until the last day I have that authority as a missionary.

Thank you for your prayers, love, and help. I feel your support each day.

Con mucho amor de Ambato,

Hermana Dunkley

Get caught in the work

Well not much time again, but I need to tell you all that we are seeing miracles. I am so thankful. This amazing family went to church yesterday and now we are going to help them to keep moving forward. I am so excited to see them baptized this change. I know it will happen. We are doing great here working hard and just pushing forward this last little bit that is left in the change.

Now I just need to share one thing that sister Mori shared with me, Elder Jeffrey Holland. "When the Savior comes I want to be caught living the gospel. I want to be surprised right in the act of spreading the faith and doing something good. I want the Savior to say to me 'Jeffrey' because He knows all of our names ' I recognize you not by your title but by your life, the way you are trying to live and the standards you are trying to defend. I see the integrity of your heart..."

I hope one day I can say the same thing of my own life and that one day each and every one of you can too. I am so thankful that I can say at least for now that I am trying to do these things. I want to be caught sharing the gospel when the Savior comes as well. I love you all and wish you an amazing week.

Con mucho amor de Ambato,

Hermana Dunkley